INT. FANCY RESTAURANT - NIGHT
Doug enters the restaurant, followed by Carrie. The decor is
fancy, with waiters in bow ties and elegantly decorated
tables.
Doug walks to the host.
DOUG
Hey there, I have a reservation for
tonight.
Across the restaurant, Leonard peers through window of the
kitchen door.
INT. FANCY RESTAURANT - KITCHEN - NIGHT
Leonard turns away from the door and faces Agent Bob, Sarah,
the Vendor, and the Bartender. The Bartender is dressed like
a waiter. Cooks and waiters move about the busy kitchen.
LEONARD
Ok, they're here.
Agent Bob nods to the Bartender.
AGENT BOB
Phase 1.
INT. FANCY RESTAURANT - NIGHT
Carrie and Doug sit at a table.
CARRIE
Wow, this place is nice.
DOUG
Hey, great food, great ambiance,
great company.
Carrie blushes and smiles.
The Bartender walks to their table. The Bartender bows
towards Carrie and Doug as he speaks.
BARTENDER
Good evening, let me tell you about
our specials tonight.
Carrie and Doug look up and smile.
INT. FANCY RESTAURANT - KITCHEN - NIGHT
The Bartender walks into the kitchen holding a slip of paper
in his hand. The Bartender hands off the slip of paper to
Leonard.
LEONARD
What do jerks eat for dinner?
Agent Bob, Sarah, and the Vendor crowd around Leonard.
SARAH
Hmm, sea bass, good choice here.
Leonard frowns at Sarah.
SARAH (CONT'D)
What? So the guy's got some taste.
AGENT BOB
Not anymore.
Agent Bob lifts a pen in his hand and smiles.
INT. FANCY RESTAURANT - NIGHT
The Bartender sets salads in front of Carrie and Doug.
BARTENDER
Your salads, sir and madam.
CARRIE
Thank you.
The Bartender walks away. The salads are composed of a
strange mixture of greens.
CARRIE (CONT'D)
Well this is something new.
DOUG
Nothing ventured nothing gained.
Carrie shrugs and takes a bite.
CARRIE
Hmm, not bad.
Doug also takes a bite.
Doug makes a strange face.
Carrie looks confused.
CARRIE (CONT'D)
Uh, you ok?
DOUG
Does your salad taste alright?
CARRIE
Yeah, it's different, but it's
pretty good. Why?
Doug takes another bite and looks confused.
DOUG
I'm not sure.
(louder)
Excuse me.
The bartender walks back to Doug and Carrie's table.
BARTENDER
How is everything?
DOUG
Well, is there a difference between
these salads?
BARTENDER
No, sir, this is our chef's private
recipe. Are the flavors too
complex for your palate?
Doug frowns a bit.
DOUG
No, it's fine.
Doug takes a bit and forces a smile.
INT. FANCY RESTAURANT - KITCHEN - NIGHT
The Bartender walks through the kitchen with two cups of soup
on a platter. One soup is creamy and the other is red.
Agent Bob and Leonard walk to the Bartender.
BARTENDER
The cream soup's for the girl.
Agent Bob nods and pours a small vial into the red soup.
AGENT BOB
Ok, go.
The Bartender exits the kitchen.
LEONARD
Nice, give him a laxative.
AGENT BOB
Not exactly.
INT. FANCY RESTAURANT - DAY
Doug and Carrie sit at the table as before. There is the
sound of a grumbling stomach.
CARRIE
Heh, is that you?
DOUG
I don't know, I'm just really
hungry all of a sudden.
CARRIE
Don't worry, it shouldn't be too
long.
DOUG
Hmm, do I want food or a little
privacy with you.
Carrie smiles again.
Suddenly, Carrie looks up.
CARRIE
Oh my god!
Carrie stand and runs to Sarah, who approaches with Agent
Bob.
SARAH
Carrie! What are you doing in a
place like this?
Doug frowns. Then Doug turns towards Sarah and forces a
smile.
SARAH (CONT'D)
Ah... say no more.
CARRIE
Oh no, it's just dinner. But who's
this?
AGENT BOB
Hi, I'm Bob. Nice to meet you.
CARRIE
Nice to meet you too.
(to Sarah)
Where are you guys sitting?
AGENT BOB
Right here.
Agent Bob and Sarah sit at a table directly next to Carrie
and Doug.
AGENT BOB (CONT'D)
But don't mind us if you want some
privacy.
CARRIE
Oh, no, no, it's fine, right Doug.
Doug looks from side to side.
DOUG
Oh yeah, it's fine.
INT. FANCY RESTAURANT - KITCHEN - NIGHT
The Bartender walks with a platter holding several plates of
food. Leonard walks up to him and takes a plate off the
platter.
INT. FANCY RESTAURANT - NIGHT
The Bartender sets a plate down in front of Carrie.
BARTENDER
Enjoy, madam. Yours will be out
momentarily, sir.
There is the sound of a stomach grumbling. Doug looks at his
stomach.
Carrie looks from side to side.
DOUG
Eh, go on, I'll have mine soon.
CARRIE
You sure?
DOUG
Yeah, don't worry about it.
Carrie takes a bite and smiles.
Sarah leans over and looks at Carrie's food.
SARAH
Hey, that looks pretty good.
Doug frowns.
INT. FANCY RESTAURANT - MINUTES LATER
Carrie takes a bite of her food and glances up at Doug. Doug
glares around and still has no food.
At the next table, Agent Bob and Sarah eat their meals.
SARAH
Wow, this is really good.
Sarah feeds Agent Bob a bite of food on her fork.
AGENT BOB
Mmmm, you're not kidding.
Carrie gives Doug a sad look.
CARRIE
Are you sure you don't want any.
DOUG
No, I'm waiting for my meal. This
is ridiculous.
INT. FANCY RESTAURANT - KITCHEN - NIGHT
Leonard, the Vendor, and the Bartender peek through the
window. Leonard holds Doug's plate of food.
Leonard takes some food off Doug's plate and eats it.
The Vendor takes some food off Doug's plate and eats it.
The Bartender takes a piece of fish from Doug's plate and
takes a bite.
BARTENDER
Not bad, I'll have to remember this
place.
Leonard eats another bite from Doug's plate.
INT. FANCY RESTAURANT - NIGHT
Doug, Carrie, Sarah, and Agent Bob sit at their tables as
before. Doug sends glares around the room.
The Bartender walks near their tables.
DOUG
Hey, waiter! Get over here!
The Bartender turns and bows towards Doug.
BARTENDER
May I help you, sir?
DOUG
Yeah, where they hell is my food?
They got here after me and they got
their food before me. Does that
seem right to you?
BARTENDER
Please calm down, sir, I will check
on your meal momentarily.
Doug jumps to his feet.
DOUG
Calm down? You want me to calm
down? You should have thought of
that before making me wait for over
an hour for my food. What the hell
kind of place is this anyway?
All eyes in the restaurant turn towards Doug and the
Bartender.
The Vendor walks up to Doug and the Bartender.
VENDOR
I'm the manager here. What seems
to be the problem?
BARTENDER
It's fine, I can handle it.
Agent Bob drinks from a glass of water.
VENDOR
Well, obviously you can't or I
wouldn't be here right now.
(to Doug)
I am terribly sorry, now what seems
to be the problem?
DOUG
Simple, I've been here over an hour
and I still haven't gotten my food.
As Doug speaks, the Vendor and the Bartender shift to the
side. Doug turns to face them.
VENDOR
I will remedy this immediately. Is
there anything else?
A waiter, carrying a full platter of food, walks toward Doug
from behind.
DOUG
Well, no, I guess that's the main
thing. I just want my food.
Agent Bob finishes the glass of water.
Agent Bob releases the empty glass and it rolls down his body
and leg. The glass rolls out towards the approaching waiter.
The waiter steps on the glass and trips.
WAITER
Whoa!
Food flies through the air and covers Doug.
The restaurant goes silent as Doug, covered in food, looks
about in disbelief.
Sarah and Agent Bob cover their mouths and stifle their
laughter.
Carrie covers her mouth with her hand, but shakes as she
contains her laughter.
EXT. FANCY RESTAURANT - NIGHT
Doug, wiping himself with a towel, storms out of the
restaurant. Carrie follows close behind. It is lightly
drizzling.
Leonard and the Bartender peek out of the window.
INT. FANCY RESTAURANT - NIGHT
Leonard and the Bartender stand by a window. Doug and
Carrie, standing next to a valet parking booth, can be seen
outside.
LEONARD
Well, if that wasn't the worst date
of all time, I don't know what is.
BARTENDER
Yeah, I guess.
The Bartender looks out the window. Doug appears to be
yelling.
LEONARD
What is it?
BARTENDER
Do you understand women?
LEONARD
Uh, I don't know.
BARTENDER
Exactly. That's what worries me.
Through the window, Carrie appears to be consoling Doug.
LEONARD
What are you talking about?
Through the window, Carrie touches Doug's face.
Through the window, Doug smiles at Carrie.
Leonard's jaw drops.
Through the window, Doug and Carrie kiss.
EXT. FANCY RESTAURANT - NIGHT
Leonard runs out of the restaurant and stops.
On the street, Doug and Carrie are seated in a convertible,
with Doug driving.
Doug and Carrie smile at each other.
Doug puts his arm around the back of Carrie's seat.
The convertible screeches away.
Leonard looks at the convertible with a sad gaze.
INT. FANCY RESTAURANT - NIGHT
Sarah and Agent Bob sit at their table and look out a window.
Through the window, the convertible drives away.
SARAH
I guess that didn't work.
AGENT BOB
Sure was fun, though.
Sarah smiles and raises a glass of wine.
Agent Bob smiles and raises his glass of wine.
Sarah and Agent Bob clink glasses and take a drink.
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