Playaz - Hans - Act 1

CAST LIST

Bones (19) - skinny, 6 foot black kid from the streets.

Pablo (17) - fat, 6-2 hispanic kid

Priest (35) - hulking 6-10 black police officer

Jerry (23) - 5-10 chinese guy with a goatee

Cheryl (31) - 6-0 black lady who's a lawyer by day.

Hans (25) - 6-8 German man who dresses stylish

Bunyan (18) - 7-2 with wild red hair and dressed from the
70s.

Skittles (9) - shy brunette girl who watches excitedly.
The Three Old Men
- Sal (70s) - white haired and wrinkly.
- Larry (70s) - balding black grandpa with glasses
- Russell (70s) - tall, thin with a white mustache

DJ (26) - short fellow with a loud voice
Al (60) - a homeless man



EXT. THE CAGE - NIGHT

Lights illuminate the small court surrounded by chain link
fences. Hans walks up to the gate. Priest and others play
on the court.

HANS
Who has next?

PLAYER (O.S.)
Hey, white boy, can you shoot.

PRIEST
No, white boy can play.

Hans and Priest nod to one another.

Al sits on the sidewalk across the street. Hans enters the
game and dribbles the ball.

AL (V.O.)
Respect is a funny thing. Everyone
wants it, but the road to respect
can be pretty humiliating.



INT. SOUNDSTAGE - DAY

Title Card: One year ago

The soundstage is decorated for a children's TV show, with
painted flowers and pastels. Children sit in front of the
stage. A banner reads, "Zoo Party!"

ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Say hi to Harry the Hippo!

The room fills with cheers as a tall man in a giant blue
hippo costume jumps onto stage.

The hippo dances awkwardly.

HANS (V.O.)
(muffled)
Hello, children. How are you
today?

ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Kids, why don't you go give Harry a
hug.

The kids run onto stage.

The kids grab Harry the Hippo and jump around him.

KIDS
Harry! Harry!

HANS (V.O.)
(muffled)
Whoa, there children.

The kids knock Harry the Hippo off his feet.

The kids dogpile Harry the Hippo.

HANS (V.O.)
Ooofff.



INT. SOUNDSTAGE - LATER

Harry the Hippo slouches on the stage as people clear off the
stage behind him. MARTY (45), a slick wheeler-dealer, walks
up to Harry the Hippo.

MARTY
What'd I tell you, buddy, they
loved you out there.

Harry the Hippo pulls off his head, revealing a worn-looking
Hans.

MARTY
Whoa, looking a little worn there,
buddy. But, don't worry about it.
I got you booked all next week at
this gig.

HANS
There is not anything where I can
just be me?

MARTY
Well, I'm keeping on top of things,
but let me level with you. The
market for goofy German giants
isn't exactly the best in this
town.

Hans stands up.

HANS
Then you will have to do better,
because I quit.

MARTY
Whoa, whoa, don't walk. This is a
good gig.

Hans tosses the head of Harry the Hippo to the side and walks
away.

MARTY
Hey, how're you going to pay your
bills, huh?

HANS
I have ways.



INT. RESTAURANT - DAY

Hans, dressed in a goofy tux, stand next to a table filled
with customers. The restaurant is full of customers.

HANS
And our specials tonight are salmon
with a sesame vinaigrette as well
as an excellent bouillabaisse.

CUSTOMER #1
Hey, that's a cool accent.

HANS
Yes, I'm from Germany.

CUSTOMER #1
Oh cool, say,
(bad german accent)
I'll be back.

HANS
I don't sound anything like that.
And he's not even German.

CUSTOMER #1
Come on say it.
(bad german accent)
I'll be back.

Hans frowns.

HANS
I'll be back.

CUSTOMER #1
Hmm, it's cooler in the movies.

Hans slumps forward.



EXT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT

Hans, dressed in the goofy tuxedo, exits the restaurant.

Hans slumps down the street. There is the sound of a
cellphone ring.

Hans takes out his cellphone.

HANS
Hello.

MARTY (V.O.)
(muffled)
Hans, baby, the Zoo Party people
offered some more money. You'd be
stupid to say no.

HANS
I do not see Tom Hanks doing Zoo
Party.

MARTY (V.O.)
(muffled)
Heh, hate to say it but you don't
exactly have the leading man...
looks.

Hans turns and looks at his reflection in a window.

MARTY (V.O.)
(muffled)
But, hey, there's always a place
for everyone in this town.

Hans hangs up his phone.

Hans examines his reflection and frowns.

Hans slumps his shoulders.



EXT. THE CAGE - NIGHT

Hans, wearing the goofy tux, walks near the cage. Several
players play basketball inside the Cage.

JAMAL (18), long and athletic, dribbles the ball.

Jamal passes between a defender's legs.

JAMAL
Yeah! Knock it down!

A player takes a shot, bricking it badly.

The ball bounces over the fence.

The ball rolls to Hans, who stands outside the cage.

Hans picks up the ball.

PLAYER #1
Yo, white boy. A little help?

Hans turns towards the Cage.

Hans looks at the basket on the opposite side of the court.

PLAYERS
Hey, what are you doing? Man, give
us the ball.

Hans takes a jump shot, displaying perfect form.

The ball arcs over the fence.

The players track the ball.

The ball swishes through the basket.

PLAYERS
Whoa! That was a shot!

Hans continues walking past the Cage.

PRIEST (O.S.)
Yo, hold up.

Hans stops and turns around to see Priest standing outside
the Cage.

PRIEST
Nice shot. Come play a game or
two. I got next.

HANS
No, thank you. That is all right.

Hans slumps away.

PRIEST
Ok, next time. I know talent when
I see it, and you've got a little.

Hans stops and smiles a little.

Hans turns back to Priest.

HANS
Thank you.

PRIEST
No problem. Hey, I didn't catch
your name.

HANS
Hans. Hans Schmidtanhoffer.

PRIEST
I'm Priest. Come back and we'll
play some ball.

Hans nods and walks away.

Priest enters the Cage through a gate.

PLAYER #1
Who was that white boy?

PRIEST
His name's Hans something or
another.